An except from 'A Stepmom's Say", a blog I read frequently. I cannot say this any better than this writer.

While History provides many examples of loving, involved, non-biological “parents”, the reality is that these people never get their due. To be sure, when they fail miserably at taking care of someone else’s children, this fact is paraded with as much publicity as can be mustered, but when a stepparent is truly good at what they do, we hear nothing of it.

And maybe that is as it should be.

As I try to find my place in this whole messy business, I realize that when it comes to Stepsons, I am supposed to be the shadow—the thing that is always there but rarely noticed. The thing that is so assumed to always be there that it is many times forgotten. Most days I am perfectly happy with this role, but other days I want to scream: “What about me?!!”

But it isn’t really about me, is it?

Cinnamon Rolls Recipe

1 package Pillsbury cresent recipe creations
1/4 plus 1/8 cup light brown sugar
1/2 cup chopped pecans
1 TB plus 1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt
6 TB melted butter
2 cups Confectioners Sugar
2 TB milk
1 tsp vanilla

Mix together brown sugar, pecans, cinnamon, salt and butter. Pour mixture onto rolled out cresent dough. Roll up from the short end loosely (the mixture will seep out a little bit).

Cut into 10 equal pieces. Place into a 9" round cake pan and bake for 12 minutes.

While baking, make the glaze mixing the Confectioner's Sugar, Vanilla and milk to desired consistency. Add more milk or more sugar how you like it.

Spoon the glaze over the rolls when removed from the oven.

Got Kid?? Got Prayer??

Either I am learning to speak 'kid' or Little One is growing up...or perhaps the answer to a much prayed prayer. Maybe it's a combination of the both of us. Loveable as he is, we just go head to head sometimes....we are both stubborn maybe. But...MAN....he is having the best time in school this year and even told me tonight "I like school." I did a double take to make sure I didn't in advertently bring home someone else's kid today from the school pick up line! He did his homework WITHOUT COMPLAINT, ate all his dinner with GOOD manners, went to karate practice and had his usual blast time, sat quietly through the HOA meeting tonight and is now sitting at the bar drawing and coloring while I finished up the dinner dishes. WOW!!! So this is what it's supposed to be like!!

I prayed really hard about 3 weeks ago and just came to tears in church that day. I HAD to let go of my aggravation and frustration on a situation and just asked God into my heart, to make me more like Him, to Love and not hold anger in my heart. Since that day, I have clicked with the boys like never before. My anger was not directed at them, toward them, in any way. I cannot control another person's actions, but I can sure control mine and my attitude. So, maybe I am learning to speak 'kid'...or just maybe I am growing up a little. Even Older One commented the other day on my new found language fluency.

Boys are getting so big...I just love them dearly.

God is good....all the time.

Last of the summer....

This has been the MOST amazing summer...EVER! Between my wedding schedules, our work schedules, totally great cruise vacation to Key West, Belize and Mexico, trips to the beach, sailboat/boat charter and now the purchase of another boat....wow. Older one worked with DH all summer at the office and earned some really decent money for his bank account. I am so proud of him. Younger one spent great time with me and I think I am finally getting out of my wicked SM role (self imposed...I hope).

Younger one is happily doing his pre-assignment of drawing a picture of himself and filling out a worksheet about himself. School starts day after tomorrow and we might go out on the boat again tomorrow. So, wow....was it easy to get him to go ahead and do his 'homework' today and not wait until tomorrow! OMG....maybe it's a break through. Perhaps he has finally grown mature enough to understand timing and responsibilities. He has fought it the whole way, but gosh...he seems so much older and more mature this summer now. Older one has long since been done with his pre-work for the summer including a reading list and memorizing the periodic table of the elements. GEESH...we never had summer work to do. Oh well....We also didn't get out an hour early on Wednesdays. It's all good...

DH remains amazing...I am so blessed to live my life with him.

We took the new boat out yesterday and had 2 blowouts on the trailer. Angels were all around us. The first one blew right at the most amazing long paved circular driveway that allowed us to pull off the road. The 2nd one blew in Brooksville and we pulled into an abandoned gas station to the awning at the gas pumps....as it started to rain. We had already used the spare on the 1st blow out and were just hoping to get to Brooksville to get to a tire shop. The 2nd one blew 1.5 miles from Goodyear that had 5 tires that we needed. We bought the spare, returned to the boat to place the new spare and then limped to Goodyear the 1.5 miles hoping the remaining 2 tires would last, plus the spare. They did and we now have 4 nre tires, plus a new spare. We made it to the Gulf long enough to spend 2hours on the water and got to enjoy our first trip out on this boat. Everyone remained in good spirits while we changed 2 tires, sat in the tire shop, barely went swimming, etc. What a good family I have!!!

I will miss this summer...it's been a good one.

Friend's Funeral

DH and I went to a friends funeral today...yes, a friend. He was 59 years old and just wonderful. The service today was one of the most moving I have EVER EVER been to. It was full of fun, laughter, stories, and the most amazing ceremony I had ever seen. Each person was asked to go the front and light a candle off the white 'Divine' pre-lit candle, think of a memory of friend and then place the lit candle in a container of sand. By the end, there were so many candles lit and the lights were out, and only candle light remained. Gorgeous music played .... it was a very emotional and moving service. It's how I would want mine to be...only in a church. Gosh...it was gorgeous.

He will be missed...His wife looked so exhausted....friend had been sick for so long and I imagine she is just so tired. Actually, wife is friend and then, of course husband, became friend.

Wonderful people....We will miss you, W. And, we love you, C. You are both in our prayers. We love you both.

Drink of the Day

Ok - today's drink of the day....

Cindy's Woo Woo - a variation on the original...

It's kind of a take off of Sex on the Beach and it's really good.

2 parts vodka
2 parts peach schnapps
3 parts cranberry juice

Shake in shaker and strain into crushed ice. Though...martini glass ok, too.

Now...Cindy's

Spa day today....

aahhh....I had a hair appt today. I HAD to get my hair cut and colored, you know? And, after all the salt water over the past month, it was just fried. So, I had to cut 4" inches off it. augh....anyway, it looks and feels so much better. My salon gave me a few hints on how to take care of my color with all the salt water we will be in from now on. Yippee......All the salt water took it's toll on my nails and so I had a mani/pedi, too. How nice...what a treat. I hardly ever do that. But, I feel so much better.

A gorgeous wedding this weekend that I have been working on for over a year. It will be really really nice. Cannot wait.

Boys are at their mom's house for the weekend. A friend passed away this past week and so we'll be at his funeral on Sunday afternoon.

Boat next weekend...MAYBE!!!!

Bust Out Another Thousand

Well, DH did it. He finally bought another boat. We had a 24' Bayliner a few years ago and did sell it. We had a hard time using it..it was stored far away, hard to pull, we needed to put it in a marina, etc. So, we sold it opting to go smaller next time. I have not even seen this boat. It's a 22' Ebbtide and should be ready next week sometime. It's a one owner and DH says it just great and has touches of teak on it. It's just what I wanted...cuddy cabin, plenty of deck space, swim platform and ladder and potty. :) It's a little older, '89, but is in beautiful shape and has low hours on it.

Can't wait to see it....I see lots of fun memories on it.

Sunday on the water

What a delightfully wonderful Sunday we spent yesterday. We took a pontoon boat out to Anclote Key just off New Port Richey. We had a wonderful and relaxing time. It was a beautiful day to be on the water. You know they say a bad day on the water is better than a good day on land....I think they are right. We love the water. So refreshing and just wonderful. I found some fabulous shells, but the sand dollar still eludes me. One day I will find another one...I found a beautiful one last weekend, but it broke on the way back to the boat. I'll keep looking....

Little one is doing much much better. His neck is healing nicely, though today he seems real moody and quiet. Poor guy...he hates school more than anything. His tutor came to help today and he just had the worst time of it. He hates school. I don't understand that. School was so easy for me...I had a good experience...I try to understand and be patient. I am not always successful. I hope the best for him to like school one day.

I wish I was smarter

I know so many REALLY smart people. I mean REALLY REALLY smart. I cannot even begin to understand what they say very sloooowwllyy...So, I muddle along in my own way, on my own time, learning along the way and keeping to my true self. But, that doesn't mean I cannot be smarter. Maybe I need to read more. Study more...

I have other gifts that are really good. I love that about me...I still wish I was smarter.

What a pretty day

I saw a rainbow on the way home from a great tasting at Reunion today. It was a full rainbow and just lovely......

Good friends lost their baby today. It's very sad....I think it's worse to have been pregnant and lost the baby than never to have been pregnant at all. I have tried for years and years to get pregnant. I had 2 surgeries to try to correct the issues, but nothing. I actually think I was pregnant about 5 years ago. But, I had the worst experience ever that Sunday morning. It was my birthday and I was at church with brother/sister in law. It never happened again.

Life is so good. There is always a reason for everything. I have spent countless hours worrying and fretting about having a child. I worry about not having anyone to care for me as I get older. But, I have 2 great stepsons and 4 great nieces and nephews. And, maybe that won't ever be a problem anyway. I will never have anyone that looks like me, is tall like me, has long legs, I will never dance the parents' dance at my child's wedding, never have anyone call me 'mom'....never have a Mother's Day gift. I don't think I was born with the mom gene anyway. I surely don't have the patience for a 2 yr old, 3 yr old, etc. I just don't. We have thought about invitro many times. I would love to have a daughter.....I know DH would. He would love to walk her down the aisle at her wedding. Have a little girl climb onto his lap. But, not to be for us.

So, I count my blessings that I have the wonderful life I have, and how great it is. I am married to a fabulous man, have 2 great kids to share my life and theirs with, have a fine roof over my head, vacations, own a business of my own, plenty of food and some left over for some fun. My parents are healthy and happy, and made good decisions so they can enjoy their retirement and not worry. My grandmother worried...I am blessed beyond anything I could imagine.

Life is good.

What I did today....

Well, little one and older one came home today after the weekend of recuperating from little one's surgery. He is doing great. Met with clients at the GPR and they were wonderful. Two sisters getting married .... one in January...one in June.

Dinner was good of tilapia, yellow rice and sauteed zucchini, onions and tomatoes. Contemplating a martini.....

Andy Griffith is on the TV...life is good.

Drink of the Day

Well, I am trying to get the Drink of the Day widget on here, but it's blocking everything.....

So, St. Patrick's Kiss

1/2 cup rum
3/4 cup cranberry juice
1/4 cup triple sec
shake in shaker and garnish with cherry

My Salsa Recipe

My salsa recipe == FINALLY!!! After weeks of trying, I think I finally have it!!

1 can diced tomatoes - drained
1/2 fresh tomato- large chop
1/4 cup onion - large chop...
1 TB chopped Garlic
1 tsp lime juice
1/4 tsp hot sauce - to taste
1 tsp cilantro (I use the frozen cubes)
1/4 cup sweet salad peppers
1 TB chopped green pepper
1/4 tsp sugardash salt
1/4 tsp ancho chili powder
cayenne pepper to taste

Pulse in the blender

wow...where have I been

Well, I thought for a while that Facebook might replace the option for a blog. But, I have found that I cannot write most the thoughts I have there...it's too much. I have clients that have 'friended' me and I just don't think it's appropriate. So, much has happened..

1. I lost a total of 19 pounds. I was at 20, but I finally settled in at 19. That's plenty...I feel great!!!
2. Cruise to the Caribbean, Mexico, Belize. WOW! that was wonderful. The boys had a terrific time on their first cruise. We all had a relaxing wonderful time!!
3. Younger one had surgery this past Friday to remove what we now know was a 4cm x 6cm fluid filled sac in this throat near his thyroid. It wasn't his thyroid, but close. All is good and he is running around and eating just fine today...It's 2 days later. It's all good!
4. We went to NYC in April for our 7th anniversary...what a gorgeous city.
5. We went to the beach in PC 3-4 times and had a great time at Amy and Shannon's beach house. Delightful.
6. DH went to see friend in LA last month....he had a great time.
7. We went sailing again yesterday and WOW do we have boat fever. We were thinking a sailboat, but it's still too much for what we will do with it. Power boat it is....maybe we'll find a good deal on one. We'll keep it at a marina and we'd like one short enough to trailer up to the lake house. That would be fun.
8. I read a great book..well, just finished it. Izzy Rose hosts a Stepmother blog. I follow it every now and again when I get really frustrated and tired. Her book is called My Not to Glamorous transition from Single Gal to Instant Mother. How I know how she feels. I felt like she was writing the book FOR me...I laughed and laughed. I don't feel so alone now. Don't get me wrong...I love the boys. They are really wonderful and Older One and I have gotten a lot closer this year. I love talking with him...he is so bright and positive and just an all around good person. But, I am not their mom...I never will be. For all the time I put into it and them...for all the drs visits, the money, the time, the worry, the school projects, etc. Because I am only step-mom, I get looked right over many times. It's frustrating....But, also rewarding because they are such great kids.

Well, that catches up....I need to keep at this for many reasons. I don't care if anyone reads, but if you do, let me know.

14.2 pounds

WOO WEE! I have now lost 14.2 pounds...it's an excuse to go shopping! That will be my little contribution to keeping the country going...I'll spend a little bit at a way discounted department store...I cannot stand to spend retail. Seriously, though. My jeans no longer fit!!! My khaki pants barely fit me. I need a new swimsuit for the beach trip in April!! YAY! I feel so much better even though I wasn't that heavy to begin with. My skirts look ok if I wear a sweater 'outside' them (don't tuck anything in!)

My heart is stronger, which was the original goal.

YAY ME!

Family Lunches

Why am I getting dumber the older I get?

Why am I getting dumber? When I was in elementary and high school, I knew everything. I knew that my mom was dumb and I was much smarter. I clearly knew so much more than she did and could not possibly believe that my life consisted of living with such incompetence. I knew that when I 'told a story' to her or my dad, they believed me.

I am now older....much older than I was in high school and I am clearly getting dumber. Now, my parents aren't so dumb and they can tell me a thing or two. Now our kids think we are dumb and don't know anything...There isn't much I can say anything without an 'I know' from one of them. My parents are smarter than me....they always have been. So, that clearly means that I am getting dumber.

One of lifes greatest lessons is recognizing the wisdom of your years. Recognizing the errors we make in life and then learning from those mistakes. When you can truly recognize them, learn from them, and correct them...that's wisdom. How I love getting older....

Poor Blago . . .

Talking about the Golden Rule, Blago has been slapped down from his once very powerful chair. He says he is going to keep fighting knowing that his life is like that of so many other citizens if Illinois that have lost their jobs. This is disgraceful. How can you so blatantly abuse your position and not expect to be punished? And, then to put yourself in the same league as the many wonderful people that have lost their jobs and very livelihood due to the arrogance and dishonesty of people just like him. Absolutely abominable.

I am sorry for the people of Illinois....what a terrible thing to have happened to their state.

8.6 pounds and counting

WEEEE.....Well, in my effort to take better care of myself...since becoming 'that lady' and turning 40 in December, I made the effort to actually use the fabulous elliptical machine that DH bought me 2 years ago. Shameful. Anyway, I got on and did 12 minutes. My heart was pounding. I am too young for that! So, I kept going and going and going and now I am on my elliptical at least 5 times a week for 31 minutes at level 2, burning on average 350 calories. And, I watch what I eat...and drink......do you KNOW how many calories are in an apple martini? Though my dad says, "That's not a real martini." Martini's are popular in my family...that's ok. He is right...it's not a real martini, but I still like them. He does make a mean Manhattan though! I digress....So, as of this morning, I have lost 8.6 pounds and I couldn't be prouder of myself. But, more important is that my heart is stronger. My legs are stronger and I have TONS more energy than I used to have. On the days that DH, friend and the boys hit the bike trail for their 17 miles on bike, Friend, Baby and our dog and I hit the trail for our 4 mile walk! We can do it in one hour!!

I feel great! Think I am going for another 6 pounds...that might be too much though...we'll see. I was targeting 15 pounds if so...but, more important is that my heart is stronger.

Mexico is calling July 20....yippee!!

Way too long

Ok - this is ridiculous..I have been away far too long. There are so many topics to chat about, I wonder where to begin.

The first I have been thinking about since the week after Christmas. I was in a store and lost my PRESCRIPTION sunglasses...argh...right after Christmas!! DARN! I was looking for them and a guest came in while I was lamenting the loss to the store clerk. This guest said, "I heard about the sunglasses and I found a pair in my cart. I wonder if they belong to that lady?" THAT LADY??? When did I become THAT LADY. That Lady was always some ambiguous older,....much older woman that was the age of my grandmother. When did this happen to me? And, then I think, you know what. She asked if the glasses belonged to a lady...not HER....not that woman....but, that Lady. There are worse things than to be called a lady. How great!

More later....maybe tonight...we'll see how my memory is later!