When I first read this poem, I was about 15 or 16 I guess. I read it in an Ann Landers column in the Gainesville Sun. I was so young for these words, but somehow they made sense to me. It made such an impression on me, I cut it out of the newspaper (the only time I have EVER done that) and it still resides in my scrapbook. As I got and get older, they made and make more sense to me. And, as I continue to get older (God willing!), I am sure it will make more sense than it does today.
To this day, when I am feeling frustrated, or blue, or defeated, I just recite 'grace not grief; grace not grief' to myself. I even had it typed and stuck to my bulletin board in my office for many many years. My co-workers would often ask me what it meant, and my response was always the same...."oh, it's just something I think about." But, it was how I wanted to live my life..... with grace, not grief. I am not always successful, but I sure try hard.
I found this explanation of it on-line and I can't say it any better than this, so here it is...
I came to realize that it is about inner strength, and learning that women have to learn not to depend on a man, or anyone else, for their happiness and fulfillment. I learned that in everyone's life there are good-byes of one kind or another. We are always saying good-bye. Spouses let us down; spouses disappoint us; spouses don't keep promises. Spouses and other loved ones die. Friends move away; friendships cool, and children grow up and leave home. They begin their own lives and aren't so much a part of ours anymore. Some stay close to us, some don't. Parents do the best they can, but most of us have some scars and issues from childhood. Eventually, they leave us, also. So,we have to build our own world, plan our own lives, and learn not to depend on anyone else except God. Most of all, we realize that we can survive if we are strong. Then, anything that comes along to make us happy is just icing on the cake.
Comes the Dawn
After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security.
That kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises.
After awhile you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes wide open,
with the grace of a woman,
not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain
and futures have a way of falling in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much.
So, you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone else to bring you flowers.
And you learn you really can endure...
that you really do have worth.
You learn and you learn
...with every good-bye you learn.
Author Unknown
